The Two Poles of My Personality!
William Montgomery
"Depression and manic depression are treatable medical
illnesses. They are not character weaknesses. You can't
develop these disorders from listening to too much Puccini
or reading too much Poe. You won't catch depression from
doorknobs or from the guy sitting next to you on the bus.
And you can't make yourself feel better by trying to "snap
out of it" or "lighten up." "There is no room for shame
. . . or blame . . . or misinformation."
...Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance
http://www.ndmda.org/
What is Bipolar Disorder?
Technically?
It's the misfiring of neural-transmitters in your brain...
What is it like really?
The first question I still (amazingly) hear is, "What is
bipolar disorder"? Then you say "manic-depressive". But
still, many people really don't have a clue what you are
talking about.
I'm sure they think I'm just somebody who walks around
depressed most of the time. If it were just that easy!
I really wouldn't wish this condition on anyone, but
sometimes, but just once I wish I could give one of those
people who make a snide remark like "get out of your mood"
a small taste of what it's like to live with this. Maybe
then they would treat the next bipolar sufferer they meet
just a little better. Trust me, you don't just "get out of
the mood" you're in...
Most folks like you (probably) experience minor changes in
moods from day to day. Sometimes happy, sometimes sad. There
is usually a good reason for these changes in your mood.
Generally you have a reason for the mood you're in. Stripped
down to basics, people with bipolar disorder have mood
swings, from elation to depression or even fits of unexplained
anger, that don't necessarily have anything to do with what's
going on in their lives. This is the life a person with bipolar
disorder too often deals with on a daily basis.
Imagine your feelings on a roller coaster that they can
never get off from. A ride that never really stops, only
pauses now and then so that you can catch your breath (if
you're luck holds out).
Those of us who suffer with bipolar disorder have "drastic"
changes in our mood for no reason that would be obvious to
anyone but yourself in our present state of mind at the
time. We may be excited, reckless and happy, on a high that
we just can't explain.
Then again we can fall deep into sadness or become enraged,
even though lots of good things are happening in our lives.
Bipolar disorder involves a never-ending cycle of mania and
depression.
It's difficult and most often impossible to even recognize
the signs of oncoming manic episodes. To us, everything
seems normal.
Hi! I'm Bill and I'm Bipolar...
What was I like before being treated?
Sober and calm, I was quiet and shy. It was a struggle to
take care of any business that brought me into the
spotlight. I kept to myself as much as I could. "During my
cycles, I was nothing short of a nightmare in disguise." I
looked forward to my "manic" or up cycles, with the bursts
of energy, euphoria and in the beginning stages, happiness.
When I was in my "manic" stages I added sex, danger, wild
spending sprees, and any "rush" that came my way.
When I would start my up cycle (mania), I would gain an
almost super-energy. I'd become overly-confident, even
carelessly dangerous. This could go on for hours, days,
weeks, sometimes a month or more. Unfortunately with the
mania comes Paranoia, delusions, erratic, aggressive and
even violent behaviors in my many stages of manic episodes.
Afterward, would come the deep, dark pit of depression,
regret and sorrow, which can last for months No energy,
no desires and nothing to live for. To a bipolar sufferer
this is an abyss from which there is no escape. This is why
the suicide rate is so high with bipolar sufferers. To
constantly jump from one end of the scale to the other is
disheartening to say the least.
Danger signs to look for!
Signs and symptoms of mania include:
* Extreme irritability and distractibility
* Excessive "high" or euphoric feelings
* A sustained period of behavior that is different from
usual
* Increased energy, activity, restlessness, racing thoughts,
and rapid talking
* Decreased need for sleep
* Unrealistic beliefs in one's abilities and powers
* Uncharacteristically poor judgment
* Increased sexual drive
* Abuse of drugs, particularly cocaine, alcohol, and
sleeping medications
* Obnoxious, provocative, or intrusive behavior
* Denial that anything is wrong
Signs and symptoms of depression include:
* Persistent sad, anxious, or empty mood
* Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism
* Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness
* Loss of interest or pleasure in ordinary activities,
including sex
* Decreased energy, a feeling of fatigue or of being "slowed
down"
* Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions
* Restlessness or irritability
* Sleep disturbances
* Loss of appetite and weight, or weight gain
* Chronic pain or other persistent bodily symptoms not
caused by physical disease
* Thoughts of death or suicide; suicide attempts
Some not so optimistic statistics?
* 75% of patients with bipolar disorder have been or will be
hospitalized psychiatrically and 65% of those hospitalized
twice or more.
* 35% of patients with bipolar disorder are currently
unemployed. Only 25% are functioning at their expected
level of employment.
* 60% to 75% of patients with bipolar disorder have been or
will be divorced or have severe marital difficulties.
* The lifetime risk of death by suicide in bipolar disorder
is as high as 20%, meaning 2 out of 10 bipolar sufferers are
at risk of committing suicide during the course of their
life.
Usually suicide is a desperate cry for help, a last
attempt to communicate from a private hell. For people who
take their own lives, death seems the best, if not the
only solution to peace, not only for themselves, but for
their families and friends. Suicide is a major problem for
those with mood disorders. It is estimated that as many as
twenty percent of individuals with Bipolar Disorder may
commit suicide. If you are reading this and are actively
suicidal now consider this; Suicide is a "Permanent
Solution to a Temporary Problem"! Call 911 or contact your
state suicide hotline number! There Are People That Want
To Help You!
It can be a hard change for some...
I think one of the hardest adjustments many bipolar patients
have to make is "No Drinking - No Drugs", as so many
undiagnosed bipolar patients have found it necessary to
self-medicate themselves, whether with alcohol or the drug
of choice to help numb the pain of existence. With myself
the same was true. This was actually how I discovered my
condition. After a DUI, I sought counseling and found
that many drug and alcohol abusers have such conditions.
Today I am not only a non-drinker, but last year I finally
gave up a 25 year cigarette habit.
Prescription Noncompliance is actually the number one reason
for recurrent (and often forced) hospitalization. Every, and
I do mean "every" bipolar sufferer will do this sooner or
later and probably more than once. They will start out on
their meds, feel great, then whammo! They feel so wonderful
they begin thinking they don't need their meds any longer.
Why not just take your drugs and stay out of the hospital
you say? Sounds easy enough, doesn't it? It just sounds
easy, but it is far from that.
There are physical reasons for noncompliance like the side-
effects. Weight gain and constant drowsiness are the most
common.
There is also the emotional hatred of feeling dependent upon
a drug to function when the "normal people" don't have to.
But only by walking the hard path themselves will they
actually learn the lesson.
How do I cope?
I fight for my life all the way! Although I am not a big
believer in the church or organized religion, I have
rekindled my faith in God in recent years.
I take one day at a time. To be very honest there are days I
wake up and wonder how I can survive another day. But those
days are fewer than they were before and I hope that they
get to be even fewer yet.
Follow these 12 Good "Deeds" for yourself.
Deed # 1. First and foremost is TAKE YOUR MEDS!!!
Deed # 2. Support from family and/or friends.
Deed # 3. Stay away from the drugs and alcohol!
Deed # 4. Establish a relationship of trust with a
psychiatrist and/or counselor who is experienced
in working with bipolar illness.
Deed # 5. Visit online bipolar bulletin boards and web sites
for support and information.
Deed # 6. Watch your Diet. Eat healthy foods, at regular
meal times..
Deed # 7. Get adequate sleep on a regular schedule.
Deed # 8. Establish a routine of regular exercise.
Deed # 9. Avoid excessive intake of caffeine.
Deed #10. Don't let yourself become isolated. Participate in
pleasant or enjoyable activities.
Deed #11. Monitor moods on a daily basis to catch any early
changes in mood pattern.
Deed #12. Learn to Develop a routines. Many bipolar
sufferers have lived most of their lives in an
almost constant state of confusion. They (we) must
learn to develop certain skills such as routines,
concentration and even interpersonal skills.
What about your family & friends?
When a member of your family has bipolar disorder, the
illness affects every one in the family. The other family
members will feel confused, hurt and angered when a person
is having an episode. They don't understand why this person
is not acting like him/her self. During a manic cycle,
family and friends may watch in utter disbelief as their
loved one is transformed into a person they don't
know. During the long episodes of depression, everyone can
become frustrated trying desperately to cheer up the
depressed person. At other times a person's moods are so
cycling so rapidly that family members feel that they're
stuck on a roller coaster of emotion that's out of control.
True, it's hard on family members and friends. They need to
remember that having bipolar disorder is not the fault of
the person suffering the disorder. Supporting the person as
much as possible makes all the difference in the world.
Support may also mean making tough decisions such as
admitting your loved one to the hospital during a severe
manic cycle.
Coping with bipolar disorder is not always easy for the
suffer or the family and friends. Recently, support groups
started becoming more available for family members and
friends of a person with bipolar disorder. Your mental
health professional can give you some information about
finding a support group in your area.
Why did I write this article?
The primary reason is because this is an affliction that I
have to deal with on a daily basis and I feel that there
needs to be more education on the bipolar disorder.
I wanted to throw some facts out there to some of you that
are not aware of how many of us are suffering and even dying
from bipolar
disorder, and to educate you a little. Remember, 2 in 10
bipolar sufferers are expected to eventually commit suicide.
For those of you that may have looked over that list of
symptoms above and see that you or someone you know fit some
of those symptoms, keep in mind, it's genetic. What are your
siblings like? Your parents? Your grandparents? Don't go
untreated. Too many bipolar sufferers go for years even
decades undiagnosed or misdiagnosed. I did. I went for over
20 years undiagnosed.
If you have recently been diagnosed and haven't yet let the
seriousness of your situation set in, you had better start.
Your life will never be the same. You might as well accept
it now. You'll be that much better off for it. Take it from
someone who does everything the hard way!
If you are bipolar, or you have a friend or family member
that is bipolar and need someone to discuss this with,
please feel free to email me. I will be happy to hear from
you.
Bill Montgomery is the Owner & Operator of
MAKINGPROFIT.com Providing Small Business With
Affordable DATABASE Programs & Programming!
For GREAT Pricing, GREAT Quality & GREAT Service,
Visit us at: http://www.MakingProfit.com
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